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© Robert Lee.
Article inspired by Christian Carter's ebook "Catch Him & Keep Him". All
Rights Reserved Image credit: Kevin Rohr
Why
Men Suck At Dating
It’s a fact that most men
don’t know how to date.
It comes as no surprise that women and men are wired differently.
It also comes as no surprise that women and men react differently.
The biggest surprise, however, is that women and men get together at
all!
Men are really bad at dating, most men anyways, because their wiring is
all crossed up. If it’s not “love at first sight” where they are so
gushy, clingy and utterly revolting, then they are “attraction beasts”
that need to be tamed, toned down and retrained to behave like a real
person.
When a man’s “Attraction and Interest meter” is triggered to high
levels, he’s going to be able to approach you. He will begin or join
conversations that involve you, that you can be a part of, with him.
From these first moments of his “attraction” springs your own
“Attraction and Interest meter” into action. But not at the same levels!
That almost never happens right off the bat. So don’t force it!
If you are going to find the right man, bind him to you and help him to
realize (supposedly on his own) that you are the right long-term
relationship in his life, what do you need to do?
First off: avoid the adolescent type. You’ve met him before. Maybe back
in elementary or high school. He’s the guy that told all his friends how
much he loved you before he ever spoke to you. Maybe he’s the guy that
sent you a gift or a letter to get your attention and when you accepted
it he didn’t have anything more to say. He “gushed out” and hid back in
his hole of adoration for you. If he did manage to get closer to you he
held on for dear life. Needing to be in a constant form of contact with
you and he burned himself out. And you tired of him so quickly that you
can barely now remember him. Now at this age you’ll find him to be the
guy that needs to know your every move. Tries to pick and choose your
friends. Always makes it a “me or nothing” argument with you. Avoid him,
dump him if you’ve got him.
Secondly: avoid the “over-the-top” type. This is Mr. Fantastic “because
he says so”. He wants to date you so he looks better to his peers. He
really is almost a border sociopath, so into himself that your real
needs for security, intimacy and trust are never met by him. You’ve seen
this type. You know them. Now you need to avoid them.
Thirdly: look for the “trust factor” in the guys you meet. You can’t
easily recognize this in guys but it becomes quickly evident when you
are looking for the “trust factor” in them. Their body language tells
you that they feel secure with you. Conversations flow, no awkward
pauses and he listens to you speak instead of monopolizing the
conversation. He “trusts” you to be on the same level as him and he
wants you to participate with him. These are the guys that you can feel
good about dating. To be able see where they are in their emotional
life.
Is he stable? Good life prospects? Not carrying any baggage?
His conversational mood will tell all. And surprisingly, instinctively,
you’ll feel safe with him and usually fantasize about a future together.
Keep talking with him. Date him. Sure, he’ll likely still need a little
molding, some small efforts on your part will help him to see the
future.
Remember, the guy you see is usually the guy you get. You may be able to
make small changes but not big ones. Don’t fool yourself into thinking
that you can. It’s the road to disaster that many women make.
Men suck at dating and usually need encouragement to make the
introductory steps so you can actually start dating. Keep your
perspective and don’t match his anxiousness but understand his
nervousness and look for the “trust factor” so that you can understand
him on a level he understands. With the “trust factor” found within his
actions and conversation and body language towards you, you can match
his perspective in a way to understand him. And understand how the two
of you will become a future or not.
Start finding the right man to date, not the man
of “right now” but the man of “right mind”.
Download the ebook here and start reading into your own future.
And if you’re not sure, take the next step and read more about “Catch
Him and Keep Him”. It’s not convincing that’ll help you to decide to
download the “Catch Him and Keep Him” ebook, it’s conviction. A certain
step to a more successful future with the next man you date or the man
you’re dating now.
Start here.
To your future, Robert Lee
More Links
Stop Dating Frogs -
Have you dated a guy that turns out not to be who or what you first
thought of him? It's time to stop dating frogs and become able to
attract the guy that you want to keep!
Catch That Guy! - How Do I Get Him Back? It's a question I get all
the time from women that points out a common misunderstanding women have
about men.
Catch That Man! - Why men withdraw and what to do about it.
Catch Him and Keep Him - The original woman's dating resource that
inspired "The Psychology of Catching Him and Keeping Him".
© 2007 Robert Lee and
Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd., Christian Carter and Catch Him Keep
Him Inc..
Article inspired by Christian Carter's ebook "Catch Him & Keep Him". All
Rights Reserved. Reproduction prohibited for any use other than personal
use. May not be republished in any format without express written
consent of the author. |